Yes, much to my chagrin – part of my journey has been to eat a little crow. When I started this, I told myself it was time to get strong – you know be in better shape. There was nothing else to it, I simply needed to get back into shape. First helping of crow thank you very much.
While this whole process is about getting stronger and blasting fat – it was is also about dealing with my crap. I signed up for the first 30-day challenge ready to sweat. I was good with that because really nothing else really needed to change. Second helping of crow please.
Yes, I had my daily 12-minute workouts which were and remain amazing but now I also had nutrition tips and challenges like no processed food for the duration of the challenge. Easy, we don’t eat much processed food, I make everything from scratch. More crow please. Processed food – which pretty much means anything with more than 5 ingredients – includes salad dressing. I have a cupboard full of Epicure spices but didn’t take five minutes to make dressing. Another serving of crow.
Now I take canning jar, add 1/4 cup of Avocado Oil, 1/4 cup of Balsamic vinegar and a heaping tablespoon of Epicure spice. This week it is Epicure Greek dressing mix. If you have never used Epicure – you should. It is a Canadian Company, that has amazing spices, dip mixes, dressing mixes, etc. Here is a link to the Epicure site where you will find the catalogue, consultants etc http://www.epicure.com/en/.
Okay so really that was all that was going to change on this journey – you guessed it more crow please. Yes, a pattern is developing and apparently I like crow. Who knew? But seriously, I wasn’t stressed, I didn’t have too much on plate, I wasn’t avoiding finishing to deal with the loss of my dad – WRONG. Who was I freaking kidding? Stressed – without a doubt, too much on my plate – full-time work, full-time school, husband, life – you be the judge. Oh yeah and then my Dad. Wow, as I started to get stronger, started to eat healthier, started to evaluate what was important, I had to acknowledge just how much the loss of my Dad had greatly affected my life. See if I worked harder, if I studied more, if I was a better wife I wouldn’t have to ever totally deal it. Because if I dealt with it, and started to heal then it would be over and I wasn’t ready for that.
More crow. I know better. I know that it wouldn’t be over – my Dad will always be here – he is part of my heart and soul. I may take the rest of my life to deal with his loss and that is okay because it doesn’t cripple me. Instead, losing him gave me strength to reach out for help and save me. Funny how that happened. I always said I would never be one of those people who can’t cope with loss, I am strong, I won’t crack. RRRRight. But it is okay to crack, it is okay have those moments that just stop you and make you say “crap I wish he was here.” Sadness doesn’t rule my life – happiness does. Remember that amazing husband, fantastic friends and great job – I have those things.
I anticipate I will continue to eat crow as I continue on this journey. Pass the ketchup please – I know it is processed and I don’t care lol. There are just some things a girl can’t live without.